Sweet home, South Carolina

Local news briefs from my small hometown newspaper.

No snakes, at least

A jet scheduled to leave Charlotte/Douglas International Airport on Thursday returned to the gate after someone found a dead scorpion aboard.

Officials decided it was best to re-accommodate passengers on US Airways Flight 1972 after finding the creature.

The flight was headed for Newark.

The plane will be fumigated before going back into service.

That’s teal, as in “steal”

Two men dressed in drag stole electronics from a Fort Mill truck stop, police say.

Around 7:30 p.m. Friday, the men — one of whom was in a teal dress — stole a GPS unit and TV/DVD player from Love’s Travel Plaza in Fort Mill, according to a police report.

An employee told officers the man dressed in teal distracted him by giving him a credit card that wouldn’t process while the other man, wearing all black, put the GPS unit in a bag, according to the report. Then the man in black ran from the store with the TV/DVD player in his arms. The man in teal was right behind him, and the two drove away in a Kia Optima.

The employee was able to write down the tag number for the vehicle, which was traced to a Lancaster address, according to the report. The owner of the car stated his son was using it and was “very vague” about when he would be in touch with his son.

A record sure to be broken

Carowinds will try to break the world record for the largest amount of people dyeing Easter eggs at one time.

The amusement park on the N.C./S.C. border is teaming up with Guinness World Records for the event, set for 3 p.m. Saturday. All park guests are encouraged to participate.

“When you think of world-class rides and attractions, you think of Carowinds,” said John Taylor, director of marketing for Carowinds. “We are thrilled to be working with Guinness World Records Live! during this exciting event sure to make our guests Easter weekend even more memorable.”

Blind bowler narrowly misses concession stand

May Williams grabbed her bowling ball with manicured fingers Wednesday, shuffled up to the line, and fired away.

She left the 2-10 split. Not that she knew it.

“I’m blind as a bat,” said Williams, celebrating her 100th birthday. “But dead, I am not. Now excuse me one moment — I have to pick this spare.”

May Williams then grabbed her ball once more. When you are blind and a hundred years old, and believed to be the oldest sanctioned bowler in the state of South Carolina, bowling means war.

“I get somebody to drive me here,” Williams said. “I can’t see to drive anymore.”

She has bowled 335 games this season with an average of 118. Her high game was 143, with a high three-game series of 434.

She still takes on all comers. In a birthday match Wednesday before league play, against a stunning 30-year-old from a Charlotte TV station who talked a good game, Williams — with belts older than her competitor — destroyed the young starlet by the score of 128-113.

The competitor had charm, but lacked game. Williams has game.

In league play Wednesday, one of Williams’ teammates on her team, a kid at age 73 named Jan Allen, whispered in her ear as Williams readied for her second shot. Because May is 100, to be heard, the whisper sounded like cannon fire.

“The 2-10 May,” Allen said.

“Yes, the 2-10,” said another teammate. Her voice could be heard on Mars.

Williams rolled and missed the split.

A foot fetish, perhaps?

Two people were charged with disorderly conduct after police say they were behind a Rock Hill shoe store engaged in a sex act Monday night.

Just after 11 p.m. officers arrived at Rack Room Shoes on Dave Lyle Boulevard and saw a man and woman beside the dumpster on a pile of cardboard boxes, according to a Rock Hill police report.

The two appeared to be having sexual relations. Officers asked them to put on their clothes and stand up.

The 48-year-old man and 49-year-old woman, both from Rock Hill, appeared to be unsteady on their feet, had slurred speech and smelled strongly of alcohol, according to the report.

The two told officers they had each drank two 40-oz. beers.

They were both arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

“Do you take this goofy mascot? …”

As beautiful a wedding as has ever happened went off without a hitch Saturday afternoon in Winthrop University’s McBryde Hall. A piano tinkled. A wedding planner scared hapless groomsmen and ushers with orders worthy of a field marshal. Single women with dates elbowed those men to say wordlessly, “I better be next!”

The bride, Michelle Waters, looked stunning as “Here Comes the Bride” was played. The groom, like all grooms, just looked stunned.

After all, this time, he was wearing pants. 

The crowd was a bit clueless at first as the minister and father of the groom, a normally serious fellow named the Rev. Wolfgang Schneider, told them they were going to witness something “unusual.”

“Not only will the bride be given away,” Schneider told the audience of friends and family, “but since my son is such a big fan of Winthrop, we have someone to give him away, too.”

All gawked, then clapped and cheered, and a little girl about age 3 blurted out: “It’s a big chicken!”

No chicken. Johannes Schneider, groom and Winthrop Eagles basketball super fan, marched down the aisle, arm-in-arm, with Big Stuff — the Winthrop Eagle mascot.

Schneider, 29, was such a fan during his undergraduate days at Winthrop that he founded the fan club, the “WU Crew.” He attended all home games wearing face paint and a Winthrop flag covering his lower regions rather than pants. Sometimes he wore no shirt, just a painted “E” for Eagles.

“My son sure loved college,” said his smiling mother, Helen Schneider.

Johannes and Big Stuff were together all the time. Johannes has yelled so often and so loud at referees that last season he was told by campus cops that he would be kicked out of a game for being too rambunctious.

“I love Winthrop,” Schneider said before the wedding.

So a few weeks ago when Schneider’s friends were talking about the wedding reception, the idea was floated that Big Stuff should show up and have a couple of drinks like the old days, after big Winthrop victories in big games.

“Better idea,” said Michelle Walters, the bride-to-be. “Invite Big Stuff to the wedding. Have him give you away.”

So that is exactly what happened.

Both families were a bit surprised; most wedding parties feature chicken, but not Eagle.

“Well, there’s something you don’t see every day — a big bird at a wedding,” said John Waters, father of the bride, after he walked his daughter down the aisle. “Actually, you never see it. Until my daughter gets married to a guy brought in by a big bird. And then the guy hugs the bird.”

John and Marilyn Waters loved the idea from the get-go and were proud of Michelle for coming up with such a novel way of showing love. Wolfgang and Helen Schneider took a bit of warming up to embrace a wedding that might be the first ever to include a beak and talons.

“I told my son, ‘you better tell your father,'” Helen Schneider said. “This is one surprise he might need a few days to get used to.”

But Wolfgang Schneider — who said “America is some country for sure!” after hearing the idea for the first time — figured out how to have a wedding with a big bird, even incorporating Big Stuff into the entry walk.

So Big Stuff brought Johannes Schneider down the aisle, handed him off to his father the preacher, then did what Big Stuff does — he high-fived a burly groomsman.

Then it was time for wedding pictures that will be put on mantels from Rock Hill to Germany. The beautiful bride alone. The bride and groom, who like all grooms is smiling because he cannot believe the good fortune that somebody would actually want to live with him. And a picture of the bride and groom and a 6-foot bird.

Woman, 80, remembers something

Several pieces of outdoor furniture were stolen from an 80-year-old Clover woman, police say.

The woman said she last remembers seeing her picnic table, metal table and six chairs in her yard Wednesday, according to a York County Sheriff’s Office report. She believes someone stole them between 4 p.m. Wednesday and 5 p.m. Friday.

She described the picnic table as very heavy and huge, and would have taken several people to lift, according to the report.

The other table and chairs are all black, with the table having a place for an umbrella.

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One Response to “Sweet home, South Carolina”

  1. Tychy Says:

    man, you’ve put the photo of the newly married couple with the story about a couple arrested for having sex in a skip full of shoes. if you’re reading this post quickly, you put the wrong faces to the wrong story. it also makes that leering eagle look even more sinister…

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