Letters may explain bizarre politics

The roll call of disgraced elected officials in the Carolinas is by now well-known. John Edwards. Mark Sanford. Strom Thurmond. Vanna White.

Okay, technically, Vanna’s role as letter-turner on “Wheel of Fortune” was an appointed position.

You’ve probably heard of at least one of the latest aspirants to join this Hall of Lame. An unemployed military veteran named Alvin Greene, a man so soft-spoken as to be virtually incomprehensible, was nominated last week by the Democratic voters of South Carolina to run against Republican Senator Jim DeMint in the fall. Wearing a tie and dress shirt that’s about three sizes too large in the neck, Greene shrugs his way through interviews that ask how he could possibly beat a four-term state legislator by almost 20 points, while never emerging from his father’s basement to even wave a sign.

Observers speculate he was chosen over opponent Vic Rawl because his name was listed first alphabetically on the ballot. (It’s true that there’s a half-note rest after the “G” when you sing the ABC’s song, which was enough time to give voters a moment to consider his qualifications.) Some believe he’s secretly a Republican plant, perhaps a ficus. Others think he may have been mistaken for soul singer Al Green, whose “Let’s Stay Together” would make a catchy campaign song.

On the Republican side, a man named Tim D’Annunzio is yet to be discovered by the national press. He’s in a runoff in North Carolina’s Eighth Congressional district against a chuckle-headed former sportscaster who would seem to be plenty right-wing-crazy enough, but can hardly compare to D’Annunzio. Another Army veteran, D’Annunzio held a “machine-gun social” during his campaign with barbecue, refreshments and a free gun giveaway. The shoot-out/soiree at a Charlotte-area gun range ran from 6:30 p.m. “until the ammo runs out.”

But that’s probably the sanest part of his story. The devout Christian reportedly believes that God will soon be delivering a thousand-mile-high pyramid to Greenland. (Sounds like the Almighty works for BP). He also believes he personally found the legendary Ark of the Covenant and — guess what — it’s conveniently located in Arizona, and would make a great side trip for families headed to the Grand Canyon this summer.

“I know that I have been anointed by God to be part of His plan to save the world,” D’Annunzio explains of his find.

One way he would do this is by abolishing the federal departments of education, health and human services, agriculture, energy, labor, housing and urban development, interior, transportation, treasury and homeland security. About the only agency left standing will be the sporting goods department at Walmart.

So how is it that such dim bulbs as Greene and D’Annunzio are validated by the Carolinas electorate? Are they simply freaks of nature that snuck past a bored and disillusioned citizenry? Or is it possible that their preposterous traits are actually quite representative of the voters?

I scoured the letters to the editor sections of several local newspapers recently to see what’s running through people’s minds. Some of the opinions I found there, excerpted below, go a long way toward explaining how this particular region of the South has come to be so chock-full of loonies.

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Our greatest problem today is man’s lack of knowledge of the Bible. We as a nation had better open our eyes and mind, look around and shake ourselves to see what is occurring around us. The disciples asked Jesus what would be the sign of the end times and his return. Matthew 24 gives us the answer.

Did you know that in a period of 30 days between January and February there were 550 earthquakes and aftershocks in our world? It’s possible this is just the beginning of a serious problem with our tectonic plates that surround our globe. Chile’s earthquake was 500 times more powerful than Haiti’s. The big one is coming.

Here’s another tidbit that might interest those that believed we just happened out of the big bang theory. When God created people, he gave us that we call DNA. Every human has it. It is distinct and different from any other person. It is made up of four components: A C T G. Spell it out for yourselves. To me, it spells Act of God. Is this just a coincidence? You be the judge.

A Japanese scientist, Dr. Emato, did a test on water molecules that were frozen. He separated them into various groups. He spoke kind words to one group and mean, evil words to the other group. Do you know what happened? The group that had kind words turned a beautiful golden color. The other group that had been spoken to with bad words turned an ugly black.

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On May 20, Mexican President Felipe Calderon spoke to a joint session of the U.S. Congress. In his speech, President Calderon called for a renewal of the Assault Weapons Ban to limit the flow of weapons into his country. This foreign leader’s request to limit the freedom of American citizens was met with a standing ovation from some members of Congress. Was Rep. John Spratt one of the members of Congress who stood and applauded this request?

Secondly, President Calderon chided Arizona for passing a law that simply enforces existing and rather lenient federal immigration laws. This, too, was met with a standing ovation from some members of Congress. Was Spratt one of he members of Congress who stood and applauded the Mexican president?

His answer to these two questions will play an important part in making my decision about who to support in this fall’s election.

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Where are all the policemen’s rights? I am so sick of all the rights a law-breaking person should have. When people break the law, they should lose all their rights.

What is wrong with the world today? For one thing it is full of people with too much time on their hands trying to pass laws to help those who don’t need help. The second thing is the world is full of crybabies.

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As you may know, the plight of our honeybee population is indeed a sad and sorry one. Most essential to our life, our well being, these little round-the-clock workers contribute to making our world as livable as it can be. Now, at risk of being placed on the list of endangered species by invasion of the African bee in the southern section of the United States, the Italian honey bee, great American pollinator of flora of all description, is in the battle of its life.

In our busy-bee everyday life, it is important that we not only stop and smell the roses, but that we lend full support to creatures big and small as we travel life’s highways and byways.

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We have all heard of the Million Man March, and we have all heard of Custer’s last stand. Well, on May 12, I was engaged in the lonesome march, which turned into a stand.

May 12 has been declared “Good Death Day” by Carol Loving, whose son Nicholas died May 12, 1995, with the assistance of Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

Fifteen years later, we are at the same spot. I do not wish to euthanize anyone but myself, and that should be my right.

I stood in front of the main entrance to the Galleria for over four hours holding a big sign: “Good Death Day, May 12, in honor of Nicholas Loving. Thank you, Dr. Kevorkian. Legalize euthanasia”

I got 11 thumbs up from the thousands of cars that passed by, but no middle fingers up that I saw. Among the things I did see were lots of folks trying to commit suicide. You would not believe the number of folks who were not wearing their seat belts, about 33 percent of the people were on their cell phones, some of them eating, smoking or drinking with the other hand.

One of these idiots is going to hit me one day and sentence me to a life of being a quadriplegic, or worse. Do they care about euthanasia? I’ll tell you one thing; they believe in their rights to do whatever they want whenever they want.

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This is in response to the letter that my brother wrote on euthanasia. While he is entitled to his own opinion, I take a stand to disagree with him. Although I do not like to take our sparring public, I cannot keep quiet about this. First, I would like to say that I love my brother very much.

Our parents both died peaceful deaths, and I disagree with him that they suffered a lot. I am sure they did suffer to some extent, but none of us is promised a rose garden.

Our dad was coherent up until his final days. Our mother had Alzheimer’s and, toward the end, she didn’t know us, but we knew her.

If someone had euthanized either one of them, I would have missed out on some wonderful blessings. I believe that euthanasia is a violation of the commandment of God that states “Thou shalt not kill.” I believe that God has supreme dominion over his creation and that there is a purpose for human suffering.

I have faith that one day my brother will believe this, too.

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I don’t understand why people think it is OK to just put signs on someone’s property without asking. I live on a county road and have chosen to leave a buffer of trees between my yard and the road. I have grass between the trees and the road, so it is very obvious that this property belongs to me. But people seem to think because there is a section of woods in front of the house, it is OK to just put any sign there they want.

Maybe they think this is just road right-of-way but so is the yard in front of their house. I have been tempted to take the ones with addresses on them and put them in the yard in front of their houses and see how they feel.

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What a wonderful world we live in. An employee of Wal-Mart tries to stop a shoplifter (a robbery in progress), and her reward for such bravery? She was fired! Wal-Mart’s policy really does stink!

I, for one, have decided to never shop at their chain ever again until this lady is re-hired and given a raise for her bravery.

I also won’t shop there until the policy is reviewed and changed to protect us honest shoppers as much as the company’s liability and false “concern” for its employees.

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I think David Bowman should have learned about county issues before ever running for public office. He prances around town with a name badge saying he is a candidate for County Council acting as if he already is. His campaign is more humiliating than anything our great councilman Paul Lindemann has ever done.

I hear Mr. Bowman talk about integrity, and he says he attends church, yet he prances around town going to after-hour events, bashing Mr. Lindemann and the very county he is running to serve. What about his integrity?

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Why would the N.C. Senate waste its time on more ethics legislation? Voters elect Machiavelli, not Pollyannas. We send them to Raleigh for knife fights, not parlor games.

But not to worry, the fine folks at the capitol are most likely to vote in more taxes for you and me than put a chain on our pit bulls – and theirs.

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As someone with 20 years experience in the pool industry, I think it’s time that something be done as far as regulating it. I estimate more than half the pools I see are improperly wired or have other problems. How many people have to die or be injured before we do something?

Anyone can operate a pool service; there is no licensing. To be honest, I’m glad I never injured anyone in my career, because I had no formal training.

We must start a licensing program for residential pool operators. We don’t need any one else dying needlessly because being a “pool man” isn’t seen as a profession.

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The Holy Grail of the western left, the carbon tax, will kill millions of jobs, cause hyper-inflation and punish workers who commute to earn a living. Instead of destroying our economy with a massive energy tax, let’s open our land and coasts to more drilling, not less. We can replace much of the energy we import and create good-paying U.S. jobs and opportunities at the same time. Our need for domestic carbon-based energy — oil and natural gas — is not an “addiction” but a tonic that will lift us out of this sustained recession while we continue to augment our bountiful supplies with newer energy sources.

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3 Responses to “Letters may explain bizarre politics”

  1. Paul Dixon Says:

    Davis, I don’t always know whether you’re kidding or not. Seriously now-did you make those letters up, or are they genuine? If they’re for real, then I’m quaking in my boots.

    Even though my family has been in Florida for 4 generations, we originally sprang from South Carolina. I feel like I need to go get genetic testing done or something. Maybe a long, hot shower would help.

    By the way-that stuff about the bees happens to be true.

    One “picky” item: While your statement about a ‘half-note rest’ after the ‘G’ in singing the alphabet could be technically accurate, modern systems of notation would tend to suggest that the rest would be an eighth rest in duration, (shorter note values being suggestive of a quicker tempo), so perhaps the statement could be amended to a ‘half-beat rest’. I’m just sayin’…

    • davisw Says:

      Unfortunately, the letters are real and, unfortunately, I should’ve known better than to sneak a guess about musical notation past you

  2. Paul Dixon Says:

    Forgiven. Go forth and sin no more 🙂

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