Time for comments from the readers

It’s been an exciting week here at the awkwardly named DavisW’s Blog. On Wednesday, I was honored by WordPress with a 24-hour placement on their front page, a distinction I want to believe is a recognition of quality but suspect is actually based on some algorithm that essentially said it was my random turn. I got almost 900 views that day, and have every reason to believe that as many as five or six of these people may have read beyond the first paragraph.

So the champagne flowed last night and now it’s the morning after, a Friday morning on which I’m supposed to be posting the weekly Website Review. However, after such a momentous occasion, it seems proper instead to remember the long-term followers of this blog, the hundred or so people that tune in on a daily basis without being prodded to do so by a gimmicky promotion on a second-tier hosting domain. (Plus, I’m lazy). So I’m responding to the request made by reader Phyllis DePriest and reprinting, completely out of context, some of the comments I’ve recently received. Hope you enjoy.

Your posts flow over me … and I will read over them again.

I used to have a site like this once, but I got so much spam I had to shut it. You seem to have a better spam filter! Well done!

Most of us, I mean some of us, haven’t had that many cars in our lives.

What was the most important thing you did or are doing right now, if you don’t mind me asking?

Somehow the part of me that eventually says something is indeed always my mouth. I feel so limited. But not because I think if I were more confident my ears would speak.

Not only are there aliens with giant eyeballs that Dick Cheney doesn’t have under control, but they are illogical.

Swallowing millions of Eurotards in fiery death? I’m all for that.

You are contributing to the decline and fall of American civilization. Drive thru? or Drive through?

I haven’t really been following much lately, to be honest.

In the local tire repair facility, I encountered tissue so thin that I could actually read a book through it. When I pointed this out to the manager he simply shrugged his shoulders in a “well, whatcha you gonna do?” manner.

Massaging the face actually helps abdominal bloating. Especially if they are forcing my mouth shut thus keeping me from eating and getting bloated in the first place.

I stayed at a massage/hostel place in Ecuador. All the staff walked around in outfits that made me feel like I was in a Bond villain’s lair.

If I heard someone calling from the ditch, I might drive a little further to get rid of my garbage.

I hear the freshly killed groundling tastes really good with a side order of fries and apple pie.

I was following you until we got to the pulp/less pulp/no pulp issue.

On the weight front I’m the annoying gangly person you see at McD’s who eats as much as you do, but never goes anywhere near your proportions.

Option 4 is too harsh, but what about sewing his mouth shut?

No one takes any interest when I have my hair shorn.

The goal is to shear off the coat in one piece, as much as possible, and to do it faster than the other shearer. If you nick the sheep’s skin in the process, you lose points. If you nick the sheep’s penis, you are disqualified. I thought that was fair.

Don’t we all love people who believe in meritocracy because they happen to be the benefactors of nepotism or just particularly fortunate, and people who are deliberately obtuse about it when you tell them that equal chances in capitalist society is a gurrdamn chimera?

In Britain, you’d get at least five years in prison for writing the above.

I actually have pictures of me and my best friend from high school kissing a llama.

Fire ants in Virginia Beach are storming playgrounds.

I remembered cameras have zoom lenses, and that’s just the kind of insight that’s got me where I am today — in a tiny flat with only three news channels in English.

I have had some interesting neighbors, perhaps chief among them was the Vietnamese family two doors down who kept ducks in a pen behind the house. How sweet! I thought. Until they started slaughtering them one day in broad daylight. There had to be some city ordinance against that.

It’s Penguin right? … a penguin with crayons!

When they test you for an allergy to fire ants, they have a lot of trouble extracting the venom from a creature that is practically microscopic. So they take a bunch of them and grind them up, and that’s what they inject into your skin.

In the “pandemic preparedness” seminar I attended today with a bunch of other adult professionals, we learned from the presenters that hand sanitizer has to be 60% alcohol to be effective, and also from one of the attendees that it is flammable and burns with really pretty colors.

Just because someone tells you something with a straight face, doesn’t make it true. Self motivation: “I CAN DO IT!” ; check out a book, cd, dvd at the library. There are a lot of con artists who love preying on the gullible.

The squatters have established their territory with no regard for the rightful property owner’s rights; the property owner does the only thing left as a course of action — strike, and hard. Shock and awe, in a way. Will the ants develop a nuclear-capable response? Do they have ballistic capabilities? Who knows what goes on in the bowels of those hives? Their research and development department could, right now, be working on the plans for invasion to the brick dwelling for the purpose of conquering and … well, more squatting. Of course, too much fiber from the apple core may delay their plans by inducing excessive gas and diarrhea in their colony, but that will eventually pass.

I have nothing bad to say about those who have passed on. They don’t bother me and they don’t walk on my lawn.

You’ve got living consecutively wrong! I’d rather spend a bit of the first part of my life sleeping and most of the last part. I’d like to be awake from 20 to 60 or so.

Mrs. Dark Side is demanding I insert a Frasier DVD.

You can only personally invade Iran if you’re Dr. Manhattan.

I have become immersed in Saudi Arabia.

You try to imagine what the person ahead of you is going to do with 8 cans of lima beans, one bag of celery, and one quart of 10W30 motor oil.

I got to laughing so hard while reading this that I now have to pee.

Wally-World gets paid to accept returns so they get their money either way. Consumer satisfaction? I don’t think so. The places are on the verge of being dangerous. I’ve was robbed while inside one of those places and none of the associates could even get an outside line to call the police.

Miley – we can only hope.

I know when I go the freezers are empty, forget to get milk there is none, oh yeah try to find some decent clothes for plus size people.

If you button your shirt starting at the bottom and ending at the top, you can save 10-15% of the overall time required (as compared with starting at the top button and ending at the bottom button).

You left out Camilla Parker-Bowles.

If only the body could be adapted to make full use of all food and liquid intake.

Shooting birds in the woods is fun because we could have meat for dinner.

I was attacked by a woodpecker. He/she drew a lot of blood from the top of my head. It was startling.

Such a waste of space. Same goes with the TV magazine – and the daily TV grid. (With only 1/4 of the channels listed that are available.)

I was so moved by this. Especially the part about the Ice Age.

Thongs and bicycle seats…a dangerous combination.

Reminds me of the time I reached for my socks.

If I can’t ride my own hamster to the Blessing then I’m not coming.

I may put a safety clip on my ashtray.

I have Restless Leg Syndrome too, and take a drug for it because it was diagnosed during a sleep study for apnea and they couldn’t get that fixed until my legs stopped moving.

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5 Responses to “Time for comments from the readers”

  1. morethananelectrician Says:

    Hey! I think I left a couple of those comments. I expect a royalty.

    I made the front page of WordPress when I talked out hairy guys in the public shower. Well…that happens once a week.

    The crown jewel in the whole thing was that I had a hairy photo of Ed Asner in the post and I actually received hate mail from the Ed Asner fan club for portraying him in a negative way. My response to them was that HE was the one doing a shirtless interview.

  2. fakename2 Says:

    You can’t make this stuff up.

  3. delicate flower Says:

    I’m honored to be reading such a notorious blogger! Well done..
    Now, how do I get up there?

    love the comments, I’d like to think you made those up, but!

  4. tychy Says:

    no comment, apart from congrats on your 900 visitors.

  5. Angelia Says:

    Apparently not random, since you made the front page again! Congrats!

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