Website Review: My commenters

I had to be at work this morning by 2 a.m., which makes it technically impossible to be funny. So instead of the usual Friday Website Review,  I’m going to turn to our readers for help today. The following is a collection of comments they’ve been kind enough to send me in recent weeks. I apologize in advance if some are a little out of context, but even these, I think, contain a kernel of genius.

  • About this death panel, I’ve got some referrals. Who do I send them to?
  • If Dr. Kevorkian is your doctor and you don’t die, can you sue him for malpractice?
  • I think that all the “mombloggers” should all be packed into some sort of rocket, which would then be fired at North Korea. “Read about my fascinating children, who are actually just the same as everybody else’s”
  • I am a big fan of spiders and dragonflies
  • Apparently rats really like water and mangoes
  • We have squirrels. One is named Sammy and he comes when called. He does not live in our house.
  • I recently saw an episode of something or the other on TruTV, about a guy who murdered his wife while sleep-walking. It was like he tried to strangle her and she didn’t die, so then he threw her into the swimming pool, where (finally!) she drowned, and then he went upstairs and cleaned.
  • Face tremors are quite a cool side effect
  • Here’s hoping you make it to Paris and get strung out on smack soon
  • An interesting aspect of numbers is the concept of averages. One hand under the hot water tap and the other under the cold would imply, that on average, you are comfortable. But are you?
  • They should include “armless boxing” too! It could be as popular as those massages where they don’t actually touch you
  • I attended an honor academy for prep-school and one of the upper classes thought it would be fun to all start swinging their arms with their forward moving leg at the same time without the drill instructor’s knowledge. The drill instructor stopped the platoon five times trying to figure out what was wrong. I mean, something seemed terribly off but he just couldn’t figure out what.
  • Do you believe in “sparks” or you just don’t know that much about them?
  • I remember that song Young Girl. We tore it apart.. “Young Girl, get out of my bed.. before my mother comes and hits me in the head…”
  • We’re allowed to have “different” songs in our iPods. I have “Take me out to the Ballgame” by Frankie, Louie and the Ferret
  • Generally, babies don’t disguise themselves
  • I’m glad that guy is being vigilant. Imagine finishing up the cremation process and pouring out the ashes to see little fingers and other items remaining.
  • I want to become fuel.
  • My son, who is 6′4″ tall, wants to be buried in my backyard, vertically, with a tree planted on top of him.
  • One of the popular beaches around my state is a popular site for ash jar ‘dumping’. But of course in the end, these jars are washed up on shore by the tide and innocent kids will play with sand among the mass of broken jars and human ashes.
  • I do the same thing, but it’s with a bunch of buddies … and we buy beer … and I get a free hat!!!!
  • I just sat through an OSHA-10 class combined with a First Aid class right after that.
  • You can always go for a case of the shakes too. “I’m perfectly fine and I’m willing to do work, but my hands just won’t stop shaking!!”
  • Honey could you change the channel for me?
  • How about an good old fashioned case of the vapours?
  • I think Maine tried to join Canada once
  • I am at a loss regarding why people grill
  • Maybe a Coke machine should be mentioned somewhere
  • I like the name “Ward”; a special twist of “Edward”. Most people assume the first two letters “Ed” as the appropriate nick. But I think the last four letters “ward” is a knocker.
  • If it wasn’t for Billy Mays, my husband would have grease-stained pants for the rest of his life.
  • I’m only talking to myself. Of course, that’s not always a bad thing since I tend to agree with me a lot.

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5 Responses to “Website Review: My commenters”

  1. karenlgj Says:

    Mommybloggers kill me. I have 2 kids. I don’t advertise it. Wait– I just did. Dammit.

  2. Rocky Humbert Says:

    Davisw: Since it’s a tough day for you, I pitched in to help — and wrote about Obama’s comment about amputations:

  3. fakename2 Says:

    I’m honored to have been included in the Kernel of Genius Comments blog. Of course, out of modesty [humiliation], I can’t reveal which were mine. Especially since I wish I had been the person who said all the other things.
    BTW, I think having to be at work at 2:00 A.M. is grounds for obtaining Worker’s Compensation.

  4. wrjones Says:

    These are quite interesting in spite of or perhaps because of being out, way out of context.

  5. Anonymously Secret Says:

    I’m happy that my comment contains a ‘kernel of genius’ to be featured… even though I’m not quite proud of what I said.

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