Fake News: Death panel named

WASHINGTON (Aug. 12) – President Obama hosted a White House ceremony yesterday to announce the appointments to his “death panel,” the group that will be responsible for reviewing all of the nation’s healthcare cases and deciding who will live and who will die.

Heading up the committee will be Dr. Joe Medicine Crow, a 95-year-old Indian who fought in World War II, and former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. The two will serve as co-chairmen. Crow brings extensive experience as a representative of a people who have suffered genocide, which it is thought he’ll use to select the most vulnerable demographics. O’Connor has a history of dealing with old ladies, another group thought to be headed for the chopping block.

Indian chief, Sandra Day O'Connor to co-chair Death Panel

Indian chief, Sandra Day O'Connor to co-chair Death Panel

Also joining the team will be actress Chita Rivera, Dr. Janet Rowley, Nobel Prize Winner Muhammad Yunus, actor Sidney Poitier, former president of Ireland Mary Robinson, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Serving in advisory capacities will be Dr. Stephen Hawking and Sen. Edward Kennedy, at least as long as they’re alive.

Poitier and Robinson play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” at yesterday’s ceremony, saying it might be one way to determine who receives critical care under President Obama’s new health insurance plan.

Poitier and Robinson play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” at yesterday’s ceremony, saying it might be one way to determine who receives critical care under President Obama’s new health insurance plan.

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7 Responses to “Fake News: Death panel named”

  1. tom1950 Says:

    It seems to real it’s scary. It is also too funny for words.

    T.O.M.

  2. Bill Reed Says:

    I was thinking that maybe Dr. Kavorkian might need a job. (If he’s your doctor and you don’t die, can you sue him for malpractice?) 🙂

  3. delicate flower Says:

    I”ve read about this death panel on 2 blogs now, ergo it’s fact!!

    I’ve got some referrals, who do I send them to?

  4. Rocky Humbert Says:

    Good post!

    Do you think I can “lobby” the Death Panel for a particular outcome? The mother-in-law…..

  5. wdthigpen Says:

    Love the rock, paper, scissors caption.

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