Fake News: Entertainment briefs

Weekend sees big box office

“G.I. Julia: Rise of the Cobbler” raced to the top among weekend movie releases with just over $100 million in ticket receipts, while “Julie and Joe” came in second with a respectable $20 million take during its three-day opening.

“G.I. Julia,” an action-packed thrill ride based on a mythical collaboration between the Hasbro military hero and the “French Chef” Julia Child, stars Channing Tatum and Meryl Streep as the duo trying out recipes for the destruction of the Eiffel Tower and most of Paris. The plot follows the square-jawed Duke and the lovable Child through a series of explosions, collisions and really loud noises (some of which may have been dialogue) in their quest to whip up a meringue that will halt the advance of enemy terrorists.

Studio heads at Paramount Pictures, who invested $175 million into the special-effects-filled production, are reportedly already at work on a sequel, in which the G.I. Joe unit will team with Fox TV for a reality series called “So You Think You Can Clear, Hold and Build.” The third installment, tentatively set for 2011, joins the special-ops team with the cast of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” for a fiery assault on a rural Pennsylvania playground.

“Julie and Joe,” dubbed a “chick flick” in Hollywood jargon, exceeded modest expectations going up against heavyweight summer blockbusters. The film chronicles the story of a New York journalist (Amy Adams) who sets out to disassemble, clean and re-assemble every weapon described in the Army Field Manual, while blogging about how she shared the experience with her new husband. The Nora Ephron-penned comedy, which combined two best-selling books into a single screenplay, ends with the sweet-natured Julie joining an al-Qaeda training school in Pakistan’s tribal region.

Celebs continue pregnancy spree

The investigation continued this week into the case of two Ohio police officers charged with offering items stolen from the surrogate mother of actress Sarah Jessica Parker’s twins to several tabloid publications.

Prosecutors were still trying to determine why anybody would be interested in learning details about the recently completed pregnancy. The actress’s husband, Matthew Broderick, is generally regarded as a mid-level Broadway talent while his wife is seen as a fortune-blessed horseface who stumbled into success with the “Sex and the City” TV and movie franchise.

Parker and Broderick had opted to have their latest children through an unnamed Cleveland-area surrogate after the 2002 birth of their son left her unable to compete in that spring’s Triple Crown. She is currently training at New York’s Saratoga racetrack in hopes of qualifying for the November Breeder’s Cup, with her legal team working feverishly to have the surrogacy count as “breeding.”

In a related story, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is reportedly pregnant again only days after the birth of her third child, a son named Isaiah. She has joined model Heidi Klum and TV star Nicole Richie in having experimental surgery that will leave them continuously expecting for the foreseeable future.

All three women have had their husband’s reproductive organs surgically removed and implanted into their own abdomens. In order to become pregnant, the women need only strain themselves for several seconds for fertilization to take place. Some observers believe this could explain Richie’s expression throughout her 2005 film acting debut in the teen dramedy “Kids in America”.

“I believe that being pregnant is the natural state that God intended for married women,” said Hasselbeck, a panelist on TV’s “The View.” “This way, my NFL quarterback husband can continue his career of living on the verge of being cut by the Seattle Seahawks, and I can continue haunting everyone’s nightmares with my shrill voice.”


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