Advice with an alcohol/medicine mix

“You Want My Advice?” is a weekend summer rerun feature of davisw.wordpress.com. I look at questions of ethics, propriety, faith, technology, geopolitics, health, etc., and offer completely inappropriate, irresponsible and possibly even life-threatening advice. Today, we hear from a reader with a possible new-product idea.

Q. I am a registered nurse three days a week at a hospital and a bartender one day a week at a country club. I am about to launch an all-natural premium margarita mix and want to include on the label that it is endorsed by a nurse – me. Ethical? — An Entrepre-Nurse

A. Sure, why not? It should be fairly obvious to potential buyers that the mix is not intended to be used in a medicinal way and, while I don’t necessarily think the “AS ENDORSED BY A NURSE” tagline is going to be driving buyers to your product, I don’t think it’s unethical. The only potential for misinterpretation might come at the hands of dumb college frat boys who think they’ll be able to binge drink without any ill effects.

I admire your ambition in trying to bring something like this to market, and wondered if you have thought at all about the reverse synergy of capitalizing on your medical connections to make something that would appeal to the country-club set. You could do a line of pre-mixed drinks that were infused with various medicines you have access to at the hospital. Maybe a “Vodka Collins with Ritalin” for those wanting to focus in on improving their tennis forehand, or a “Cosmopolitan with Ortho Tri-Cyclen Patch” for the desperate housewives on the nineteenth hole concerned about their birth control. You could even do something as simple as a band-aid or aspirin, put it into hospital-style packaging, and charge $25 a piece like they do on the insurance claims. Or you could do a line of congealed, room-temperature entrees and casseroles and sell them as Hospital Cafeteria Healthy Meals.

By the way, I also think it’s ethical that you cut me in for a percentage of the profits if any of these ideas work out.

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2 Responses to “Advice with an alcohol/medicine mix”

  1. fakename2 Says:

    Davis, normally I completely subscribe to your life-threatening advice, since it so neatly dovetails with my own. However, in this case, I believe you have missed a very important component. That is that nurses, like airline attendants, are traditionally considered easy marks. Therefore, “endorsed by a nurse” would lead the frat-boy contingent to believe that use of the product would enhance their nurse chances. Without regard to the ethical questions involved, I would say that it is an excellent marketing plan.
    Focusing on the ethical considerations is entirely un-American. When confronted with any issue, what we must ask ourselves is, “Can I get away with it”.

  2. wrjones Says:

    I’m looking for a supplier of V&V, Vicodin and Vodka. The nurse could procure these ingredients and carry on a study of the pain relief of a placebo she gives the patients as she pockets the Vicodin for my V&V. Has to be be ethical. She can’t tell the staff about it as that would ruin the “blind study” methodology.

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