Fake News: Obama not there at all?

TOPEKA, Kansas (July 27) – Doubters of President Obama’s U.S. citizenship have continued to splinter into various sub-groups over the past week even as it appears their overall numbers may be expanding.

Despite repeated debunking with certified documents as well as newspaper clippings and hospital papers, conspiracy theorists on the fringes of the right wing are saying that Obama was not born on American soil or, perhaps, doesn’t even exist at all.

“What first African-American president are you talking about?” asked Steven Adams of the blog Nobama. “I don’t see any first African-American president around here.”

Adams is among a growing group on the Internet who deny the corporeal being of Obama, even though others have criticized him as all too visible on TV and elsewhere in the public eye.

“Maybe you’re thinking of Colin Powell, or perhaps Tiger Woods,” Adams said in response to a reporter’s questions yesterday. “Or that one guy on Saturday Night Live. You know Armisston or Armistrong or whatever the hell his name is.”

Another cynic who goes only by the screen name Voidoid said the “O” in the “Obama” name was misleading “because ‘O’ or zero is technically different from the null set, which is what I’d consider him if it were possible to consider the ether.”

Others in the so-called “birthers” movement admit the existence of an Obama-like creature while still disputing various details about his life that could call the legitimacy of his presidency into question.

“I not only doubt that he was born in the United States, I don’t even think he was born on this planet,” wrote Mike Louis at AliensEverywhere.org. “His Betelgeusean name is actually Bar-Ak, and those big ears of his are really receptor dishes that pick up signals from his home sun. You can tell when he’s getting an incoming message because that mole to the left of his nose starts blinking.”

Another vocal skeptic who has been heard most often on social networking sites claims that Obama was not born in Hawaii but instead in Ireland. Ken Wright has been reporting on his Facebook page that a feint of punctuation has removed the apostrophe from the original O’Bama family name and transplanted to the recently modernized spelling of “Hawai’i.”

“It’s all part of the same plot,” said Wright, who lists “Obama sucks” as his Facebook status. “Apostrophes have a long history in Marxist/Leninist circles.”

Richard Andrews of a group that calls itself the Anagram Truthers claims that the president’s true identity lies in the rearrangement of the letters in his name. The phrase “karma cab boa” could indicate he’s of Indian, Somalian or South American origins while “a kabob car, ma” suggests Middle Eastern roots.

“I think you have to look at his full name: Barrack Hussein Obama,” Andrews told a gathering of his followers last month. “Change it around and you have ‘A cabana bush smoker I.’ This confirms his status as a lazy beachcomber, an Australian aboriginal and a nicotine addict. I also have reason to believe he doesn’t floss every day.”

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4 Responses to “Fake News: Obama not there at all?”

  1. kirsty815 Says:

    Frickin’ hysterical!! But ya know there are people that actually believe this stuff.

  2. sekanblogger Says:

    This is GREAAAT!

  3. jjackso15 Says:

    “Apostrophes have a long history in Marxist/Leninist circles.”

    I’ll vote for that as craziest line of the week.

  4. Skip Dekades Says:

    Bravo on this one.

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