Direct-mail prophecy from the Lord

Yesterday, I posted the contents of a direct-mail solicitation that was received at a vacant house near mine. It contained an introductory letter (mostly capital letters, actually) about how the occupant of this home had been specially selected for redemption, if only they’d return a postcard. There was also a special, customized, sealed prophecy that you were only to open once you had returned the postcard.

Today, I reprint the warning on the outside of the prophecy, the prophecy itself, and some contents of the postcard. If you get tired of the preachy part, skip to the end and “check out” the handy checklist of things to be prayed for on the postcard.

Warning:

IMPORTANT – Only break open this sealed prophecy after you have put this postcard and your prayer requests back in the mail to this 58-year-old church ministry. If for any reason you are not going to return this Church Prayer Card then this sacred philosophy must be destroyed — unopened and unread — because this is a sacred, spiritual prophecy, sealed word, concerning you and your future. Please do not open these prophecies until after you have sent your Prayer Card back in the mail before sunset tomorrow, or the next day. God will help you do this.

Prophecy:

These “Prophetic Words” are given through inspiration of the Holy Spirit to help you be aware of blessing changes coming into your life. People are hungry for spiritual guidance. Unfortunately many are turning to the wrong place. Psychics, mediums and clairvoyants have no place in God’s plan for your life. The only true source of information about the future is God’s word and his Holy Spirit prophecy is not given to make you curious about the future, but to motivate you to live for God today. Prophecy is a frequent theme in the Bible and a solid foundation of our faith. As you read this prophetic word, your faith can be stimulated and strengthened, and your spirit can be infused in a divine manner. Tell us if this is you and your life or not.

PROPHETIC WORD GIVEN FOR YOUR SPIRITUAL EDIFICATION

My child, receive in your heart and spirit these words for time is moving quickly. I have revealed to you that there is a greater purpose in your life than you have yet discovered. It is my purpose that many mysteries be opened to you. No mystery can be withheld from the mind that is open to my spirit.

Even now you are facing a decision that must be made. My spirit is at work instilling in you a new, greater understanding in the way I am directing you. There are many things which you need to know, but this can only come through your careful, consistent and persistent communication with me.

It is time for you to set new goals in your life. You cannot be happy with life unchanged. The new goals I am helping you establish can remove apathy. You are being set free from the feeling of inadequacy, and a new enthusiasm is being created. This may, in turn, release and regenerate power into your spirit.

The power to speak blessings into you own life is in you. You must discover the ways to use this power. As you daily seek me in prayer, understanding of the gifts in you will come forth, and the evidence of this will become apparent to those around you.

Due to my spirit working in you, greater control of the present and future plans can be at your fingertips. You may feel inner power growing because of your closeness to me. New boldness is being birthed even now. As you are obedient to my instruction, my spirit will create in you awareness of which steps to take and which steps you should not take, concerning plans you have made and those you are still to make. I will direct your steps, and the path I lead you on can take you away from those who would damage the plans I have for you and take you toward the path that leads to the fulfillment you seek. (Editor’s Note: What??)

My dear child, I have much joy planned for you. As you remain faithful in your seed sowing into my kingdom, surely you shall be blessed. Be not weary in well doing, for you shall have your promised reward. I say unto you, meditate on these things I have said, for you shall see them with your own eyes (Joel 2:28,29). Amen.

Postcard:

Dear Prayer Family: Yes, I do want prayer for my needs (checked below) and, please mail me one of those GOLDEN PROSPERITY FAITH CROSSES FREE OF CHARGE.

  • Pray for my finances
  • I need a job
  • Pray for my blood pressure
  • Pray for me to be saved
  • I’m saved but I need a closer walk with Jesus
  • Pray for me, I’m worried
  • Pray for my loved ones
  • Pray for me to receive a continuous money blessing
  • List other needs you have
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3 Responses to “Direct-mail prophecy from the Lord”

  1. Scott Oglesby Says:

    Did the prophecy mention ‘the four roofers of the apocalypse’? because, as you know I’m having an issue!

  2. bolognaball Says:

    Believe it or not I got one of those in the mail…and I thought jeebus hated me

  3. gary Simmons Says:

    Davis,
    I got the same message a few days ago. It was the much shorter version. The server bought it to me in a cookie with a bill at my favorite Chinese restauran.
    Gary

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