Fake News: Obamas’ stroll debated

WASHINGTON, D.C. (May 6) – Women across the country applauded President Obama’s “date night out” with first lady Michelle Obama this past weekend, with many commentators noting that it was “the cutest thing.”

Meanwhile, men across the country condemned the president’s outing with his wife for making them “look bad” and for what they see as a further intrusion of federal government into everyday life.

Obama and his spouse of 18 years dined for nearly two hours at a posh Georgetown restaurant Saturday during their first evening out since arriving in Washington in January. When their motorcade returned to White House, they began strolling on the South Lawn, passing by the West Wing and then their children’s swing set. They kept walking, swinging their hands together as Secret Service agents stood in the distance.

“Aren’t they just the most darling couple?” asked Marianne Herbert, 45, a software engineer and mother of two from suburban McLean, Virginia. “You can tell they’re still deeply in love after all these years. I’m a staunch Republican and disagree profoundly with him on just about every policy issue I can think of, but you’ve got to admit he’s a tender and loving gentleman.”

Herbert’s husband, Allan, who considers himself a Democrat and supporter of the administration, had a different view of the time the First Couple spent lingering over dinner followed by the now-famous stroll.

“Two hours for dinner? That’s absolutely ridiculous,” said Herbert, a consultant with a government defense contractor. “I’d be calling for the check and the takeout boxes after 45 minutes. Did he have a coupon? I bet he didn’t even have a coupon.”

Other women, both those in the media and elsewhere, wondered how a commander in chief with the weight of the world on his shoulders could find time for a quiet night out with his wife when their lazy excuse for a husband could barely be budged from the couch to take out the garbage.

“You’ve got to give the man credit,” said conservative blogger and pro-family advocate Anne Ross. “That was so considerate of him to woo her like that. It’s nice to see that some women aren’t being taken for granted despite years spent together in a relationship.”

“Woo, schmoo,” countered Anthony Morolli, a fellow at the Harvard-based think tank Guys for a More Guy-centric America. “He was pandering directly to female voters at the expense of men who have endured long hours dealing with all that crap at work. They spend the day talking in meetings and presentations and sales calls, and all they want when they get home is to rest their ears and rest their yaps.”

Harold Mesa, 37, a truck driver from Raleigh, N.C., said he thought the postprandial stroll was “really piling it on.”

“I spend all day sitting in the cab of an 18-wheeler, and I know that you have to occasionally stretch your legs,” Mesa said. “But I would do a couple of quick toe-touches or maybe a few extra amphetamines. ‘Strolling’ with the old lady – whether she’s first or last or somewhere in between – isn’t even worth consideration for most of the boys down at the depot.”

“You shouldn’t listen to him. He’s an idiot,” said Mesa’s wife, Arlene. “Harry doesn’t even have a coherent policy on the drawdown of troop levels in Iraq. You couldn’t expect him to have a caring thought about how his wife feels.”

“Don’t get me started,” the burly driver replied. “You’re not bringing up that whole Iraq thing again, are you? We’ve been over that a million times, woman.”

“Oh, go screw yourself,” countered Mrs. Mesa.

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