Celebrating 100 days of being old

The world’s oldest man celebrated his first 100 days in that position Saturday by not dying.

Eldon Burnhart of St. Louis, Mo., who turned 113 years old in December, took over the position of oldest living human being when the previous occupant of the spot, Yao Wao of China, died in late January after falling out of a helicopter. Burnhart has now held onto the transitory position of world’s most elderly longer than his last 38 predecessors, most of whom died within days of being named to the post.

Burnhart credited his longevity to a regimen of exercise, healthy eating and an extensive network of friends. He said he also keeps a youthful outlook on life by staying up with the latest cultural trends, including keeping an active page on Facebook and occasionally visiting Twitter to send a message to his extensive list of 8 – no, make that 7 – followers.

“Still alive & kicking,” read one recent tweet he shared with a newspaper reporter. “Had two bowel movements since Sunday.”

Any objective assessment of Burnhart’s first 100 days would note a number of achievements that indicate he’s making progress in his agenda of continuing to live. On Day 13 as world’s oldest man, he had solid food for breakfast; on Day 37, he asked a nurse’s aide for a nickel; on Day 83, he remembered something that happened within the last 70 years.

He admitted that it’s been hard to achieve a lot of the goals he’s set out for himself in just 100 days, but asserted that he got a good start on some of the more ambitious ones. He hopes to oversee recovery of the world financial meltdown and end the war in Iraq before his term comes to an end.

“I’m like a shark. I’ve got to keep moving,” he told friends gathered for the celebration of his success yesterday. Either that, or he said “it’s getting dark, it’s very soothing.”

Burnhart’s hazel eyes danced when he talked about how his wife and family used to –

No, wait. That’s not eye dancing, that’s apparently a seizure, and he seems to have died.

 

Note: I want to say thanks to my son for contributing this idea during our dinner last night celebrating his eighteenth birthday which happens tomorrow, May 4. He’s been a great kid who’s endured a lot of hard times while still managing to be almost as funny and sarcastic as his father. Tomorrow, he starts his first day as a great adult.

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5 Responses to “Celebrating 100 days of being old”

  1. DB Says:

    Just finished reading and seem to recall enjoying it. I’m sure I’ll get another good laugh from it years from now when I’m trying to remember where I left my teeth… (!)

  2. tom1950 Says:

    That sounds very reminiscent of Mel Brooks The Thousand Year Old Man. Not the same, but definitely along that line. I love it.

    T.O.M.

  3. tom1950 Says:

    And, I am sure, that Yao Wao’s last words were probably “Oh, Wow!”

    T.O.M.

  4. DB Says:

    I think his last words were “Yao dun nao”…

  5. wrjones Says:

    Great story. Makes me want to get old(er).

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